Books About Big Emotions that Teach Emotional Regulation

Inside: Use these books about big emotions that teach emotional regulation to help kids manage their emotions and feelings.

One of the most empowering skills we can give to our kids emotional intelligence: learning how to recognize their emotions, name their emotions, learn that all emotions are okay, and then learn how to self-soothe and regulate their bodies so their emotions don’t take over for them.

These are the kids who will grow up to be well-adjusted, emotionally healthy, mature adults who don’t let their emotions control them and so they don’t “dump” their emotions and feelings on others.

You might see this called emotional regulation or emotional maturity but it allows our kids to not feel overwhelmed by their big, overwhelming emotions and feelings.

We talk about emotions and feelings interchangeably but they are not the same things: “Emotions originate as sensations in the body. Feelings are influenced by our emotions but are generated from our mental thoughts.”

So we have to start with labeling our kids’ emotions: You are happy. You are sad. You are worried. You are disappointed. You are frustrated.

We have to validate our kids’ emotions and make it super clear that all emotions are okay and normal: You can be mad. You can be sad. You can be disappointed.

We then have to set super clear, calm and consistent boundaries around those big emotions such as: You can be mad, but you can’t be mean. You can be be mad, but you can’t hit. You can be disappointed but you can’t scream at me (you can go scream into your pillow). You can be happy but you may not brag about your win to the people who just lost.

And finally, we need to give our kids the tools they need so the big emotions don’t make them feel out of control for too long: breathing techniques, yoga for anger, making and playing with this lavender oatmeal playdoh, meditation, 3 Easy Games To Improve Self Control in Kids, or this emotions sensory bag.

All of this can feel hard for educators and parents to teach to kids because we were most likely never taught how to do this for ourselves. So as with all things that we need to learn more about, we can turn to books.