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Coffee and Carpool: Intentionally Raising Kind Kids

Helping Busy Parents Intentionally Raise Kind Kids//Bully-Proof Your Kids//Bullying Prevention

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Get Kids to Be Kind More Often with these 60 Kindness Questions

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Inside: To encourage your kids to be kind, download these free printables with 60 kindness questions you can use to talk with your kids about how to be kinder people.


Raising kind siblings is the fastest way to a calmer, happier, more peaceful home. Use the tools in this kind siblings ebook will help your family. #kindkids #kindsiblings #ebook #raisingkindkids


As my daughter got in the car this afternoon after school, I asked her to tell me three things about her school day.

After telling me about her art project and the book her teacher read her, she confided that at recess her friends were ganging up on Maggie again.

I asked her how she handled it this time.

She gave me a much different answer this time than she did last month. And thank goodness. 

Last month, my daughter joined in with the mean girls. She ran away with them giggling, leaving Maggie alone to play by herself.

And I found a note my daughter wrote to Maggie on behalf of the others saying they wouldn’t be her friend anymore.

Nope. That is not going to fly in our family.

My daughter forgot that she is a kind girl. She forgot what it meant to be a good friend.

So every day since then, we’ve discussed Maggie and what that must have felt like.

We talked about ways my daughter could treat Maggie that would not make Maggie feel lonely or left out.

And today, when presented with a big choice, my daughter nailed it.

She said that when her friends were mean to Maggie, she wasn’t. She stood up for Maggie and played with her through recess.

Success.

But this change didn’t happen overnight. Or by accident.

Related: What Every Parent Has to Know About Raising Kind Kids 

We talked about what it means to be a good friend often.

We talked about how to include Maggie in play so she feels welcomed and part of a group.

And we used these 60 kindness discussion starters during our dinner time to further our conversations.

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

Why Do Families Need These Kindness Discussion Cards?

I have been on a mission for quite a while to raise kind kids.

We talk about kindness often because being kind is one of our only 2 family rules.

But as my kids are getting older and interacting with classmates and teammates, we’ve had to up our game at home. 

My daughter started showing signs of “mean girl” behavior at school.

My son was on a baseball team where he was called a loser often and teased for not being a great ball player.

And my eldest daughter is a hormonal tween who is trying to find her place and her way. And she’s trying to figure it out by yelling at me. A lot.

We really needed to spend even more time talking about kindness. 

So these 60 Kindness Discussion Cards reside on our dining room table to talk about kindness often (download them below).

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

Why Do Schools Need These Kindness Discussion Cards to Get Kids to be Kind?

Kindness has to be intentionally taught if we want to raise thoughtful, kind kids. And if you’re an educator, you know that many of your students don’t receive this message at home. 

But when we incorporate Social Emotional Learning into our daily curriculum, our students become better people and better students. 

Character Education creates a safe place for all of our students, builds up their emotional intelligence, their problem-solving skills, and their collaboration skills. 

Related: 8 Reasons Why It’s Essential for Schools to Teach SEL

Use these in your morning meetings or as “bell ringers” or as writing prompts after you discuss.

You can use this as a whole group conversation, as a small group conversation, or with individual students who are struggling. 

Related: 10 Easy Ways to Incorporate SEL into your Daily Curriculum 

Want more Kindness Discussions in your classroom? Get our 180 Daily Kindness Questions…one for each day of the school year. 

Types of Kindness Questions to Ask Our Kids:

Being kind isn’t something simple to explain to our kids.

Because it’s not one thing. It’s many things.

It’s how you treat other people when no one is looking. 

It’s treating others the way you want to be treated.

It’s doing something for someone without expecting something in return.

How to raise kids who are helpers by having them help their siblings #coffeeandcarpool #raisingsiblings #raisingkindkids #raisekindkids #parenting101

So we need to ask our kids different kinds of questions and discuss different kinds of scenarios where they could be kind. Or where they could show more kindness. 

Because kindness is:

  • being helpful,
  • being considerate,
  • being mindful of others,
  • being an includer,
  • and being a good friend.

Tips to Get Kids to Be More Helpful

Tips to Get Kids to be a Good Friend

Tips to Get Kids to be More Thoughtful and Mindful of Others

Tips to Get Kids to be Includers

Tips to Get Kids to be Kind

And when we talk to our kids about kindness and how we can show kindness to others, we are not only making our kids the best versions of themselves, we’re making the world a better place.

Because kindness is contagious. One small act of kindness or one smile can ripple into other kind actions.

Tips to Use the Kindness Questions to Encourage Kids to be Kind:

Want these awesome kindness questions to use with your kids? Download them below!

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

Then print them on paper or cardstock.

Cut them out or have your kids cut them.

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

Place the questions in a jar or bowl and let your kids pick out a card or two each time you use them.

Types of kindness question cards included:

  • The Red Cards are about kindness in general.
  • The Orange Cards focus on how to be a better friend.
  • The Yellow Cards help our kids understand the importance of being mindful of others.
  • The Green Cards target ways to be more helpful.
  • And the Blue Cards talk about how to be an includer.
https://coffeeandcarpool.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/lumen5-video-3.mp4

Families: Use them during family dinners. 

Educators: Use them during Morning Meeting, as “Bell Ringers” or as creative writing prompts. 

Scout Leaders: Use them to start your meetings or if you have a few minutes before you end your meeting. 

All important discussions to help prevent my daughter from being a mean girl again. 

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

Want the 60 Kindness Questions? Download them here! 

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

 

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool


Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

 

Kindness Discussion Starters to use with your kids to talk about how to be kind #raisingkindkids #raisinghelpers #raisekindkids #kindkids #kidswhoarehelpers #beanincluder #goodfriend #discussionstartes #familydinner #familytime #coffeeandcarpool

15 things to ban to raise kind kids. #kindkids #kinderkids #raisingkindkids #coffeeandcarpool #positiveparentingtips #positiveparenting

 

 

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Judy Hartmann says

    November 7, 2018 at 8:20 pm

    Teach kids how to say sorry!
    Place a buddy bench on playground for children who need a friend to play with.
    Use upper grade students as reading buddies.

    Reply
    • Nicole Black says

      November 8, 2018 at 11:52 am

      Yes! All fantastic ideas!!! I heart Buddy Benches when they’re used correctly!

      Reply
  2. Connie says

    November 24, 2018 at 5:29 pm

    Teach kids to do a kind act just because it is a nice thing to do. Not as a thank you. This can be done by modeling in the classroom.

    Reply
  3. Marisa Perez Benitez says

    March 1, 2020 at 8:53 am

    Hi, I really liked your post and I am would like to download your kindness cards, but I can not. Is there anyway, we could exchange email and see if that way works?

    Thank you

    Reply
    • Nicole Black says

      March 1, 2020 at 1:34 pm

      Of course! I’ll send them to you. I’m sorry you couldn’t get them!

      Reply
  4. Vanessa Moscoso says

    March 24, 2020 at 10:38 am

    Hi! I live this idea. Can you please email to me?

    Reply
    • Nicole Black says

      March 24, 2020 at 11:04 am

      Of course…there’ a link at the bottom of the post or you can grab it here: https://www.subscribepage.com/x5s4r7

      Reply
  5. Amanda Ambrose-Brown says

    March 31, 2021 at 6:52 am

    I love this and I have been working on this with my daughter as well. I’m looking for as many resources as possible because sometimes I just don’t know what to say or ask her. Thanks for putting this together. Please email me the cards.

    Reply
    • Nicole Black says

      March 31, 2021 at 4:55 pm

      Hi Amanda- I’m so glad you love this! You can click on this link and add your email and it will get sent to you! https://app.monstercampaigns.com/c/ukz9x9fxdpfjbau7lidn/ Enjoy!

      Reply
  6. Kira Fischer says

    December 7, 2021 at 11:46 am

    Hi! I am not able to access this resource anymore. Could you send the link?

    Reply
  7. JimLor says

    March 2, 2022 at 1:05 pm

    Really interesting post!

    Reply

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Welcome to Coffee and Carpool for busy parents on the go.

I’m Nicole and I am a recovering elementary school teacher, a mom to three super busy kids, and I mostly survive on strong coffee.

I share my best parenting tips and tricks for intentionally raising kind kids, creating a stronger family connection, and bullying prevention.

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