Inside: What is kindness? Use this explanation to help explain it to kids.
When I asked a group of kids what kindness meant, they couldn’t really give me a definition.
But they could give me examples of what kindness has felt like to them:
My brother shared a lick of his ice cream with me.
My friend told me she liked my shoes.
My classmate let me go first one time.
All very sweet, kind moments, but they only show a piece of what kindness is. The kids could not explain kindness.
But if we want to intentionally raise kind kids or teach kind kids, we have to be crystal clear on what we’re asking of them so they have a chance to be successful.
So here’s the definition of kindness and how to explain it to kids so they understand what is being asked of them.
What is Kind?
We all know what kind means because we know what it sounds like and what it feels like.
But when we try to put it into words so we can explain it to someone else, we’re often at a loss because kindness is an abstract concept.
We know what kindness is not: meanness, cruelty, indifference, bullying, nastiness.
But when we have to explain what kindness is, we usually come up with “nice” as the definition; yet, nice and kind are not the same thing.
Related: Nice vs. Kind and Why We Don’t Want Nice Kids
It’s also difficult to define kindness because it’s not just one thing…kindness is many, many things.
So here’s what kindness really is so you can explain it to your kids or students and then help them make kindness a habit:
Here’s the definition: a considerate, generous, friendly, helpful, compassionate personality
Related: Kindness Vocabulary
But kids may need more information to understand what all those words mean. So this may help:
Kindness is a verb. It’s something you do. It’s the positive way you talk to people and treat people.
Kindness is treating others well, regardless of who the person is or who is watching.
Kindness is making others’ lives happier or their lives easier because you can and want to.
Kindness is genuinely caring enough about people to be mindful of other people around you.
Kindness is intrinsically finding value in adding value to other people’s lives and experiences.
Kindness is interacting with others in a way that makes their day better.
Kindness is purposefully doing more than no harm. It’s adding value to those around you.
Kindness is being your best, truest version of yourself so others benefit from your best self.
Kindness is to give freely and willingly and joyfully to others, without expecting anything in return.
Kindness is being generous, friendly, helpful, empathetic, compassionate, and thoughtful.
Kindness is treating others the way you would want to be treated: with respect, empathy, and compassion.
Kindness is lifting up others rather than tearing them down.
Kindness is being a good sport when you win and when you lose.
Kindness is cheering others on and cheering others up.
Kindness is paying attention to not only what you say, but how you say it, so you don’t unintentionally cause harm, hurt feelings, or say something thoughtless.
Kindness is thinking of others and their feelings, needs, and wants while keeping it in balance with your feelings, needs, and wants.
Kindness is loudly, strongly, and firmly standing up to others against intolerance, hate, racism, and bullying.
Kindness is remembering to be kind to yourself in how you treat yourself, talk about yourself, and talk to yourself.
Kindness is thinking before you speak or act to ponder the consequences.
Kindness is asking yourself: am I making the world around me better or worse?
A truly kind person is kind all the time. Their actions are not dependent on who’s watching or listening because they’re not trying to get anything out of the encounter. They’re not trying to win points or gain favor with someone.
Kind people want to be kind because they have compassion and empathy for others and genuinely want to help someone who needs it.
Kind people give their time, their money, and their assistance out of the sheer goodness of their heart. They want nothing back except for the feeling of knowing they’ve done good in this world.
And kind people can be kind without being taken advantage of. Kind people can say “no” and be assertive and set limits…in kind ways.
Fun Ways to Make Kindness a Habit:
To make anything a habit, we have to teach kids how to be kind, then give them every opportunity to do it often.
We can talk about kindness, read about kindness, praise kindness, and then “gamify” kindness to make it fun.
These kindness resources will help get you there:
60 Kindness Discussion Starters
Kindness Books to Raise Kind Kids
Monthly Kindness Emergent Readers
No matter how you go about it, raising kind kids is essential to make our world- our family life, our classrooms, our schools, our communities- better places to live and work and play.
Here’s to more kindness and more kids who make it into a habit.
Leave a Reply